When she called me to furtively whisper into her phone the details of said smooches, whispering because her friends were around and she wanted this for just my ears, I have to admit I smiled for her. Happy in the fact that her first kisses were exactly what she had dreamed them to be....
It got me thinking of how I dreamed my first kiss to be. I had hoped my crush at the time would decide I was beautiful. A girl that he saw in his mind's eye all the day. That he would try to talk to me, take me aside, maybe walk with me and hold my hand. Profess how much he liked me maybe, and then sneak that first kiss I longed for.
Alas, it was not at all like that as I remembered mine. I was hoping to find the butterflies that my daughter did, but there were none of the good kind. It wasn't at a formal, with me in my princess dress, looking just stunningly perfect, slow dancing with the boy of my dreams.
I guess the kiss was memorable, I can remember who it was with and remembering being scared out of my mind. It was during a game of spin the bottle at my first boy/girl birthday party in the sixth grade I think it was. The bottle kept spinning and hitting everyone else, then the guy I had been crushing on, the one I wished so desperately would like me back, spun it and it landed on me. He kissed me and it was over pretty quickly.
But how I held on to the details of that kiss. Nothing magical really to report. Being the awkward, overweight, and not nearly as attractive as my contemporaries girl in my class, it would be a long while before I received another. I was hoping my crush would decide he couldn't live without me, that my daydreams about him would come true but it was more like "ack, I've been kissed by a dog!
Ok, maybe he didn't run around wiping his mouth off, screaming in horror, but his reaction definitely wasn't one like he was seeing skyrockets and fireworks because of his lips on mine.
Was it wrong of me to be secretly pleased that my daughter's first kiss wasn't like this?
She's only 13, well almost 14, I guess she's not that young, but in my heart I know I am truly thrilled her first kiss was nothing like mine. That when she is listening to her daughter call her and tell her about her first kiss, she will conjure up these happy memories. Her heart will jump a little remembering it, a little smile might play across her lips. I hope that my future granddaughter will be able to tell her first kiss tale as happily, and dreamily, as my daughter told hers to me.
Well I guess my first kiss was not picture perfect. Not nearly as beautiful as my daughter's. My memories didn't make me smile, blush a little, and relive that moment in teenage girl bliss. But I guess you never forget your first kiss now do you?
