Happy Birthday Dad

For when he would flex his biceps for me when I was little.  I thought he was the strongest man in the world and he was my hero.

For when he would check under my bed for alligators that I just knew ran in fear when he did that and tucking me in so my arms and legs wouldn't have a chance of hanging over the bed in case they came back after he left.

For when he would make me laugh at Christmas Eve Mass for singing off key at the top of his lungs. Mom would separate us and be so angry at us for horsing around.

For loving the holidays the way he did and making it such a big event in our house.  He was happy when the whole family, as extended as it could be, was there, happy and celebrating together and instilling that quality in me.

For him loving my husband to be the way he did.  And quietly accepting our unconventional meeting and engagement telling my mom, "there is something special about him" and knowing I had found my happily ever after.

For the ride in our limo to the church the day I was married holding my hand and saying to me, "it's not too late to back out kid" because he didn't want to lose me so soon.

For dancing with him at my wedding, knowing the tears weren't going to stop as I danced to "Daddy's little girl" with him.

For him showing me the way a husband should treat his wife.  The way a real man treated a woman, with respect and love.

For loving each and every one of his granddaughters the way he did and teasing me that "not everyone can have kids with plumbing on the outside".  How the sun rose and set around his girls....

For fighting his illnesses the way he did.  With the dignity and grace and courage that made me love and respect him the way I do.

For finally stopping the fight and knowing your reward in Paradise was waiting.  It was time to rest after so many years.

For the hole in my heart that will never be fixed since you left me.

For being the first superhero this little girl ever believed in.

For missing you every single day since you stopped your suffering.

For kissing me good bye in my dream last night and the tears that haven't stopped since I woke up.

Happy Birthday Dad, I miss you today and always

Dee

A few Thanksgiving Thoughts

Thanksgiving makes me vaklempt for some reason.  Maybe it's all of the memories from my childhood.  Then I think of everyone I have been away from for so long, or have left this earth and start missing them.  So many of the people that made my memories up are no longer with me and that stings.  When I smell my turkey cooking I am instantly transported back in time to a happy place. Damn sense of smell has some nerve getting me all welly like this!

As I was cooking this morning I thought of when my Nanny turned over gravy making duties to me. It was a moment that I will never forget.  Kind of like winning the gold medal in the Thanksgiving making Olympics.  I can remember sitting in her kitchen absolutely engrossed in all she was doing to make our dinner.  I can remember when we switched to having it at my mom and dad's house because our clan was outgrowing her house.  I can remember my dad having to build an extension for their dining room table after awhile because we were still growing and needed more table space.

Then I got married and moved away.  Oh I went back for a Thanksgiving for a few years, but it's hard to travel on that day.  Particularly on the NJ Turnpike and 95 south, and with kids, so I started building a tradition for our family here.

Fast forward to the here and now, cooking like crazy for my family.  It's just us, but my girls keep asking if I remembered to get this, or did I get that.  And the "just us" grew by two, a number which will continue to increase exponentially my daughter Erin pointed out.  With my four girls I am bound to be blessed with more significant others of theirs and their children.  I want to add an addition on to my Thanksgiving table some day.

I kind of get it now, how my mom and her mom would cook like they did.  We always joked around that it took days to get ready, and it was gone in minutes.  But it brought us all together, just for one day, just to celebrate all we are blessed with, just to forget anything bothering us and just to enjoy each other.

It was an expression of love.....

And I just love carrying on that tradition.

Happy Thanksgiving! Love you all!