Open water, 2 times and fear for tomorrow....

I had planned on doing this open water swim. It was the pre-swim for the I Love the Tavern Tri in two weeks. All of this rain made the James look like it was chocolate milk instead of water, but one gets used to the soupy yuck I supposed.

We walked to the down river spot we were all jumping in to make it a 500 meter swim down current swim (which actually was 700 if you went to the dock instead of getting out where the kayakers put in which all of us did pretty much). Last year was a total fiasco. There was a crazy spike in the river level and current right as we were heading in for the swim for the race. There were more rescues then you can imagine, the 750M got shortened big time to maybe 400m when all was said and done it took so so swimmers like me 25 minutes to swim it. I had a friend who got so stuck in the current, it took her 45 minutes. Anyway, I like pre-swimming this course just to know I can do it. I like swimming this course because of all of the nifty things I get to pick off of my body when I take my suit off after a particularly murky swim like this, the things I do for entertainment! So we went to the possible new location for the swim start, and started by going in single file. I had the best swim I have to say. I wish I had my watch, because I'd like to say I finished the swim in 10 or so minutes. Now, don't go thinking I'm all Michael Phelps or anything, but the current was ripping us along and just WOW, I flew. I got out rather proud of myself and feeling strong.

At that point I probably should have said, Let's go hon! Of course Brad was out way before me. My confidence was soaring and I had a contact high of sorts, no rotting endorphins here! Anyway, we were given the option of staying for another round of swimming, jumping in and swimming up current for 10 minutes and back to the dock. Brad said he wanted to, and I figured what the heck? After the swim I just had, what's a measly 10 minutes into the current? Are you thinking this post will have an unhappy ending?? Sorry to disappoint Mr. or Ms. Half glass empty. I felt strong, even with all of the mass start kicking and elbowing that went on, I choppy stroked myself into that ripping current for 10 minutes, found a spot where I didn't get the crap kicked out of me and I almost kept up with the fastest people out there. I felt even better then before! My swim back took all of 3 minutes, literally, that's how fast that current was running, but I did move forward up current. I watched as landmarks passed, I sited like an alligator, I devoured that river like piranhas on an unsuspecting victim and got out leech free, ah, the perfect open water swim...

Now if this can carry over into tomorrow! I am still thinking maybe I hit my head on something shortly before I agreed to join the Marathon Training team again. Or maybe my twin from the other side of the sun, remember that from the Justice League how there was Superman and Wonder Woman et al from the other side of the sun whose costumes and eyes were black and they were all bad, crazy people, I digress, decided they needed to mess with me a little and put me up to this.

Who knows, all I can say is I hope the current moves me along for my run tomorrow, is all down river and leech free...

Yeah, I did just do that, what was I thinking?

You know, I was tripping along quite happily yesterday. Life was good, training has been training, I have been following my plan and happy. Then someone asks me to join the Marathon Training Team with her. I was like no, really I couldn't, easier then refusing seconds on desert. So why then am I going to be at Sports Backers Stadium, bright and early Sunday morning with a 7.3 mile warm up training session run in front of me?? Why am I doing this again? Well if the person who asked me was someone else, I probably would still be tripping along happily with no marathon in my future. But I like her loads, and her boyfriend is a great training partner for Brad, and they like doing crazy races together, so I figured why not? Why not indeed, why....

Oh right, I'm stupid....Running a marathon is definitely not like having a baby. I remember the pain from the NYC Marathon VIVIDLY!! It's not like I've forgotten that feeling of my hips and legs may never feel the same again. But wait a minute, that marathon I ran, I only trained for from August until October. When I asked my running friend Brenda, who incidentally is a running coach, to whip me up a training plan I now understand why she looked at me like I had an extra eyeball. Three months to train for a marathon, another hash mark goes in the I'm Stupid column. But she did make a plan, I did train for those three months and I did finish a marathon, and managed to do it in under 5 hours so I could get my name in the NY Times. Hmmm, maybe not THAT stupid, but stupid none the less.

Let me explain that there is nothing suckier then marathon long run training sessions in Richmond heat. 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22, 24 miles of nothing but running, sweating and wishing it was over already. I am not one of those Zen runners. I do not find my inner peace on long runs. Actually my husband teases me and tells me my endorphins sort of rot and go bad so instead of a runners high, I highly want to punch the person standing closest to me. But maybe if I have all of this time in front of me, two extra months of training it will be make a difference. I started the training team last year and had to drop out in August when I started taking my blood pressure medicine. I had a hard time adjusting, but I am used to what I take now, I know how I need to super hydrate when I train in the heat.

Did I mention I hate running? Long or short distance, I just hate it, and here I am faced with running 26.2 miles. So off I go, head long into my next race adventure.

Of course it will make great fodder for my blog mill. Maybe that's it, the frustrated writer in me needed more material for this blog so I decided to do something stupid like a marathon. Surely I could have found another muse...

No Excuses....

After my performance on Sunday, I had a long, hard look at things. There were moments of grace, I did better on the bike, thanks honey for your Flashpoints, felt great on my swim and fizzled on my run. I was chatting with my husband about it all and he said one thing that really made sense to me "no more excuses". How true, how true....I can continue to compete at the level I am, train at the level I am and place the level I do. And continue to make excuses, I'm afraid of passing out from my medicine, I am afraid of what will happen because of my MS. Or I can try a different tact. What's the saying, Go hard or go home? I have to admit the thought scares me. It scares me a bunch. What if I do pass out, like my husband said, someone's going to see you, they won't run over you, or at least they won't step on you and they'll get you some help. The whole MS thing doesn't really hold water either. Anything that happens when I over heat goes away, it's a pseudo-exacerbation, and overheating won't cause a real exacerbation anyway. I know that, but still it's scary when your vision gets all fluky, you know?

So why then, does this really scare me. I believe it's because I am afraid of disappointing myself. Ah, there it is, I feel sort of rubbed raw tender saying that out loud. But that is the truth my blogosphere friends. I am afraid to set higher goals then what I have in place right now. Really, coming in 14th out of a field of 47 is nothing to sneeze at, another point my husband made. But coming in top 5 has to feel pretty freaking good. So yes, I am setting my goals. I want optimal performance from this body. It may be too late someday and I don't want to have any regrets. I know somewhere in here is a top five finishing triathlete who is dying to bust out.

I know it's not realistic to hope for that this season, I don't know that there is enough time to train to get there, to get to the top five. What if I try my hardest and barely crack the top ten, what if......wait a minute, today starts No Excuses racing for me. So NO EXCUSES, I am off to swim 2000 meters hopefully I don't pass out....hahaha, NO EXCUSES!!

Wondering how I did, well here ya go...

Okay, I am semi satisfied with how I did. I had hoped to break 1 hour 15 minutes, I was off by three minutes, wahhhhhhh. However, I did wind up finishing almost 4 minutes faster then this race last year so there's something. At first, I thought I had finished same time as I did last year, so I was sad. I felt like, well crap, nothing got better. So it soothed me sort of to see I did do better. It made me try and analyze things too. I need to work on my run. It has been so slow going trying to get better since last summer and the Lisinopril debacle. But now I know I can run at least 9 minute miles, or there abouts. I need to push myself more during my training.

I am anxious to see my results. The best time I had for this particular course is 1 hour 16 minutes. I should really remind myself, that even with MS, I finished better then a bunch of people without it. But truly, I don't think that argument holds water. We all step up to the starting line with something we have to deal with.

On that note, I am going to go take a nap. I might blog more later, and I might not. Still in a gray and dreary mood sadly....Maybe a bbq, and a beer will make me feel better and hanging with the man who still puts butterflies in my tummy....Let the healing begin, at least 4 minutes of it!

Dreary day before my first tri

So I sit here, looking at the results from my previous Shady Grove Sprint tris and wonder what will be tomorrow. First race of the season for real this time. First race with my new wheels, those Eastons I got for mother's day are sah-weet, first race with my new saddle, my butt hurts a lot less thank you Adamo, first race....

Why am I not excited? Usually I have these butterflies and a hopeful heart that something good will happen. Maybe this time I can race and be done in an hour and fifteen minutes? Where is that subconscious thought?? Hello, hello, hello....All I hear is an echo in my head.

My running is terrible. I am still struggling to get back to where I was before this whole thing with my blood pressure hit (which still pisses me off when I think about all the exercise I do and I still have to take medication). If I am turning a 9 minute mile I am lucky, seriously. Maybe I can make the time difference up on my bike? My biking has gotten stronger. Hills in Tarrington, doing that half Century, trying to keep up with and drafting off of Brad etc. But still I am blah. Even my blogging has been half hearted. The frustrated writer in me is, well, frustrated I guess.

Maybe it's hormonal, maybe I am just a craggy wench right now. But I don't think that's it either. Part of me wishes Brad was still my training buddy, but he is so far out of my league. He's in with the big boys, the Ironman club. A club I cannot even try to get in until my kids are grown and not needing me so much. Do I still resent the fact that he did one without me, I don't think that's it...

Summer is coming and I definitely need a break from the hectic life I put myself in this year. I don't regret a minute of it, but my training get the least amount of my attention when I try to be a good mom to my four girls. It will be nice to not have school stuff interfere with training stuff too.

So on this dreary gray day, I wonder in my dreary way, what will happen tomorrow, dunno, but I guess I will find out won't I?

Races cancelled, plans to make....

So, this season started out with a fizzle more then a bang. We had our race calendar set to start this past weekend. Brad was starting on Saturday with his Wintergreen ascent. Then the Muddy Buddy, which holds a place close to my heart because it was how I dipped my toes in the ever addictive race font how many years ago now, 4 maybe? That didn't happen. Then we were doing Knoxville. The Rev3 Oly had my name written all over it. I was following a training plan, getting ready for it, feeling as confident as a reluctant triathlete could, but we are going to have to cancel, like we did the Muddy Buddy. Partially, due to my husband re-injuring his ribs, making it all but impossible to swim and run, partially due to the fact that our lives have been a non-stop, living, traveling, volunteering, room momming hell.

Brad graciously offered to go anyway to Knoxville and watch me compete. He is my best and biggest fan ever, and I would have taken him up on that if I hadn't been traveling every weekend since the beginning of April. Between that and my volunteering responsibilities, I feel so overwhelmed. I haven't had the time to breathe, let alone get ready for one more trip.

I like to think that the "Big Man Upstairs", as my dad affectionately called Him, was letting us know, in His own way, that it is time to slow ourselves down. That maybe Brad's re-injury is His way of saying, enough! You've been doing too much lately and something is going to give, namely you!! We are trying to reschedule the Rev3 for next year, we take it easy this weekend, and come out stronger for it. When my first race comes, I will be ready, and will be able to enjoy it instead of it being one more thing I have to slog through.....

So I will take this reprieve happily, get ready for my new first race, and hopefully pull out a great finish for me. We got handed some lemons at the start of the race season. I am enjoying a glass of lemonade, care for one with me?

New Years Day run and onward...

When my husband convinced me I needed to run with our fun friends on New Year's Day, I finally said yes with much trepidation. These people are great athletes but also a great time to be around, so I said yes. There's nothing like being firmly behind everyone for the whole run, but I was. We ran the trails in the city so the scenery was really beautiful. My running pals graciously waited for me at very scenic locations so I could catch my breath. But it kind of stinks when all you see is everyones back and have no one to talk to for 7 miles.

Truth be told, running has been the last thing on my mind. The holidays came, and did I mention we had a lovely stomach virus run through our family? Realistically speaking, in the days that we had it I might have gotten 4 hours of sleep total through those nights. Four kids, four viruses, and one me wide awake for way too many nights. That started the last two days of school before Holiday Break started. It set up the perfect scenario for me to get sick. And sick I did get. On the drive up to NY two days before Christmas Eve I lost my voice, then I got this chest cold. I couldn't talk for a week. I was up most of the night coughing my brains out. It was a pretty awful being that sick for Christmas, at least I didn't get that stomach virus like Brad did on Christmas Eve night. God bless him he was sicker then a dog. All I did was hack my lungs up. I am still dealing with some lingering reverberations.

I tried to work out, tried to do stuff. I did ride the trainer hoping for some aerobic benefit. I did short runs, 2 miles here, 3 miles there. We ran for almost 7 miles on New Years Day. At one point during our run everyone was running with someone, except for me. I was behind by a couple of lengths when we happened on a guy with two dogs off the leash. Well the German Sheppard dog trotted along side me, I reached over and scratched his head, then his owner said, "He's checking to see if you have any treats, he won't bother you for long if you don't have them" On cue the pooch doubled back to his owner and I said out loud "even a dog doesn't want to run with me". Kind of funny, almost a scene out of the Jerk. But it was what it was. I caught everyone when we got to the parking lot, we all chatted and laughed and enjoyed each other's company until we all got cold and said our goodbyes.

Fast forward to this weekend. Did I mentionSaturday was the first day of our 10k training team, and I knew it was going to be bad. I still cough like crazy if I run more then three miles, I still have a stuffy nose. Anyway, Brad convinced me I would be okay. It was billed as an easy 6 mile run, a distance I have done only once in the last month at least. It was supposed to be at conversational pace, a jolly jog if you will. But noooooooooooooooooooooooooo, what did I expect from the local road runners club? They said go, and that's all she wrote. I am in the slowest group mind, the 49 to 55 minute 10k group and my group took off like a dirty shirt in a wind storm. By the time we were at mile two, I was wheezing and one of our coaches turned around and ran back to me to check and see if I was alright. Once again, did I mention it was totally uphill until that point??? I had fallen off of the pace big, big, time. We finally decided I would turn around and run the two plus miles back to the start. I won't get into the fact that it was the stupidest thing I have ever done, running through the City by myself to the Cafe where we started. Did I mention the start is in an area that is being re-gentrified? It occurred to me when I encountered a group of young men, and I use that term loosely, that were across the street from me a few blocks to the Cafe we all started from. I guess they saw me notice them noticing me. I know I am not too far away from the start, that if I book it, I could get back to safety. One of them did make a move across the street. Was it towards me, hell if I know. I took off like I had rocket shoes on, cut through a lot, and made it to the Cafe. FAILFAILFAILFAILFAIL did I mention FAIL in a major way? Ugh! I felt like such a freaking LOSER. Not only did I not make the distance, I almost got myself mugged along the way. I felt so out of my league, I felt like a beginner. I know better then to be by myself anywhere like that. I was too busy dressing myself down for not being able to run the whole way to pay attention to my personal safety. Now I am pondering if I continue with the team or not. I just do not know. I do not want to be left alone in the city again, I don't want to be the only person who can't make the whole way.

Today we had a 4-10 mile training run on our 10k training team plan. It was 30 degrees and there were winds up to fifteen miles an hour. But Brad was a trouper and said he'd run with me. We did a 10k. I forced myself to run the whole thing, I got nauseous, felt like I was going to pass out at points, but I refused to stop. I need to be able to run at least six miles, I need to be able to run at least six miles well. So I did it. I was a sorry sight I am sure, but I ran it. Tomorrow we have a rest day, I think I will ride the bike.

I need to increase my aerobic endurance. I AM going to increase my aerobic endurance. I can do this can't I? I have run how many half marathons, a full marathon, how many tris have I done??? I can do this right? This training team will be nothing when all is said and done right?? But did I mention I am getting sick again??????