When last we spoke...

When last we spoke, I was going to chat about my swim workout. It was a good one and I am pleased I can still swim distance. I actually was thinking I could train and get semi ready for the Half Ironman, more on that later.

Then it happened, my WHOLE FREAKING FAMILY GOT SICK, me included. It is this flu like ailment, not the flu though, the tests came back negative, besides we got the FluMist vaccine this year. So whatever it was got my 6 year old first, then my 17 year old then my 9 year old, then my husband, then me, then it went into bronchitis for my husband, 9 year old got a relapse, and I just have been marginally functional with this and now our 13 year old is finally sick. I'm not getting any worse now, but certainly not getting any better. Since that mile and a quarter swim, I have done NOTHING!! I worked out my last few workouts dragging myself through knowing something far more ominous was brewing and whatever it was was going to incapacitate me. I was getting clumsier, having trouble focusing my eyes, getting more forgetful then usual and fatigued like I ran back to back marathons with no sleep in between. I wasn't wrong, I read the warning signals properly, I got uber sick. Now I am sick and tired of being sick!

My husband actually made an appointment for himself at the Dr. You know he wasn't feeling well. Whenever he gets sick with a cold it goes right into his chest. Not to disappoint this time, it did go into his chest and he wound up with bronchitis. My nine year old started running a fever after she had started back to school and feeling better. She woke up yesterday morning finally, after two days more of being really sick and didn't have a fever. She said she felt better, and she looked it. My 6 year old still is a little congested, a little, but is bouncing off of the walls and full of energy, so I'd say she's almost perfect. Friday morning my 13 year old woke up all congested and complaining of an extremely sore throat, welcome to the ailment du jour!! She is still ghosty looking this morning. I should hang a sign on the door, QUARANTINE, this house is tainted I'm telling you!

Not to have all complaining in this blog, after all it is a training not a complaining blog, I am going to try and get on the trainer in the garage for just 1/2hour even in a little bit. I feel like blech, but I am not getting any better, or any worse sitting here, so I might as well do something. Nothing too strenuous, but something. I feel lazy, I think going to the Richmond Tri Club Banquet and being around all these insanely fit people is making me feel guilty! I feel squishy, and one of my running buddies last night, we sat at the same table, told me how much everyone missed me at the running clinics. I have to say, I miss them too!!

Which leads to me where I am now. I am officially announcing that I had to withdraw my entry to my first 1/2 Ironman Tri in San Diego this Spring. It wasn't a decision I made easily. I sat with Brad the other day and he just let me talk, don't know if he was truly listening, although he didn't get glassy eyed and slack jawed like he can when I get going. I threw out there all the reasons why I wanted to do it, and all the concerns I had regarding it, like my lack of training. I think the most important point I hit on, and one that was most resonant with me is I needed to be a mom to my family first. It is my most important job, more important then me completing my first long course race. I was sort of losing sight of that.

As I started listing all of the reasons, I kept focusing on was how was I going to fit in a 56 mile bike ride followed by a 13.1 mile run training session?? The swim part is easy. I get the kids off to school, go to the gym, and swim for an hour or so. I even throw in an hour of running and then it's time to play mom taxi. No problem, but it was the long bikes, coupled with long runs that I couldn't miraculously pull the time out of nowhere for. I tried, tried working out a schedule of sorts, but in the end it kept coming down to, where will I find the time, when will I carve out this ride and/or run??

Then I struck that chord, the one that really reverberated, like I said, I am a mom first. I need to be a mom first. So while I am wiping this nose, making tea for that sick one, getting ice pops at the store, all the while wishing I felt better too, I realize this is where I am needed most, where the payment for my efforts will be the most appreciated and rewarded.. The stress I was putting myself under trying to train for this super human feat of athleticism was something I didn't need. What difference does it make if I do a Half Iron this April, or in April a few years down the road when I don't have ones so little, that need me so much, or teens that, as much as they think I am stupid and are striving for independence, need me as much if not more then the younger two do?? There, I said it out loud, and phew did it feel good to stop the worrying. It also begs the question, am I less of an athlete if I focus on sprint and Olympic distance races instead of the longer course?? Of course not, I am out there training still, just not as long!

I kept asking my husband, did this mean I was a quitter? I try to set an example for my girls, to finish what you start. But I guess in the same breath, when I told them I wasn't doing this anymore, I showed them, that sometimes in life, no matter how badly you want something, you have to consider all things before you can make the right decision.

All things considered, and judging by my children's enjoyment of the waffles I made this morning instead of being out on a long ride today, I think they agree with me....