I walk in and everyone says DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I have been living there even more than before.
Anyway, I have been feeling out of sorts lately, wishing to find a way to be relevant, wishing I could be the type of person who can change the world, or at least do something noteworthy. I have been feeling so unsatisfied, so unimportant.
All of that would have to wait, I have a house full of people who need to eat so off to the grocery store I went, with a daughter and her friend in tow so they could "help" me shop. Yes, their brand of help is unique, I usually wind up spending way more than I intended and they drive me batty through the whole store. This trip was no different.
By the time we had gotten to the drink aisle we had filled up one cart and the underneath too. My "helpers" volunteered to get another cart. There was an older woman in that aisle that laughed as they went to get it and said, "great help you have there". I countered with how I loved them to death but they were driving me nuts. Then, for whatever reason I finished with, "I know I am going to miss these moments though, so I am thankful for every one". Really?? Why on earth did that just pop out. I don't know this woman from Adam.
I'll tell you why - this woman had a story to tell me, she had a message for me, for the me struggling with feeling inadequate and insignificant, and she started to tell it.
She has one daughter I learned. One daughter she had mommy/daughter time with every Tuesday without fail. Through grade school, through High School, when they could during college....Then her daughter graduated and moved to Wisconsin. "Broke my heart that she left me, but like all good parents you support your child and hope they are happy and successful." My eyes grew kind of rheumy, I know what she means. You want your child to spread their wings and fly, positively soar to the heights you dreamed of for them, I shook myself back from my own thoughts, she continued her tale.
"I found out I had cancer. I knew I had to call her and tell her, hardest phone call I had to make. I told her how we were going to treat it, how long it would take. I told her I would beat it, because you're still a mom and don't want your children upset. You're their mom and even in your moment of need, you need to still be that mom that keeps your kid safe." I won't even tell you how welly I got at that point, that I am in Martin's Coke aisle, tears threatening to roll, absolutely rapt at the story a total stranger is telling me.
"So I don't call her for a day," she continued. "I figured I'd give a day for her to digest every thing and we'd talk again when she was over the initial shock. But I didn't hear from her the next day, so I called, no answer. I was worried. And as I hung my phone up, I kid you not, she walked in the door. She had hung up with me the day I told her, packed a bag, got in her car and drove home to me. Then she told me she was home for 5 months and would fight with me. Go to my treatments with me, take care of me".
Yes, the tears are trickling out now. Slowly, deliberately, kind of like the way she was telling her story. I was so moved by this daughter, I was moved that this woman was telling me this....
"I beat my cancer. I'm a survivor!" she said next. "So my husband says I'm buying you guys tickets, tickets to Africa, you're going on a Safari, your life's dream, that will be your next mommy/daughter moment. So we went and had the time of our lives!!" I am smiling along with her, so happy that she had such a colossal mommy/daughter moment, WOW a safari. Too cool, I've always wanted to go on one myself I was thinking. Then I realized she was speaking to me again, she said, "you never know do you? Never know what is going to happen. Don't live your life wishing it away. Enjoy every moment in the now, because you never know, it could be your last..."
With that, she gave me the tightest hug, smiled, winked and walked away. I was left in the middle of the Soda aisle wondering if that just happened, and smiling, wiping away the tears that her story brought.
I like to think it was a higher authority's way of giving me a kick in the butt. Telling me that I am significant, I might not find the cure for cancer, but I have 3 kids in this house, and one that lives on her own, that need me. I make a difference in their lives every day. I have a husband that I love and support through all of his endeavors, even like when he tried to kill me with the Sharkfest Swim from Alcatraz hahaha, and who I know depends on that support to make it through his crazy days.. I have two dogs and one foster dog that need me. They need me to love and take care of them. I have spent the last how many weeks nursing Barney, a severely neglected poodle back to health, he wouldn't be flourishing the way he is without me.
So I guess I do have a purpose. No, I'm not curing cancer, but I can kiss a boo boo away, help mend a broken heart, nurse an abused animal...and maybe all of my little things make up a big thing...
Whatever, all I know is I was given a gift in the Soda aisle in Martin's, one that I really needed to receive.
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