So I sit here, looking at the results from my previous Shady Grove Sprint tris and wonder what will be tomorrow. First race of the season for real this time. First race with my new wheels, those Eastons I got for mother's day are sah-weet, first race with my new saddle, my butt hurts a lot less thank you Adamo, first race....
Why am I not excited? Usually I have these butterflies and a hopeful heart that something good will happen. Maybe this time I can race and be done in an hour and fifteen minutes? Where is that subconscious thought?? Hello, hello, hello....All I hear is an echo in my head.
My running is terrible. I am still struggling to get back to where I was before this whole thing with my blood pressure hit (which still pisses me off when I think about all the exercise I do and I still have to take medication). If I am turning a 9 minute mile I am lucky, seriously. Maybe I can make the time difference up on my bike? My biking has gotten stronger. Hills in Tarrington, doing that half Century, trying to keep up with and drafting off of Brad etc. But still I am blah. Even my blogging has been half hearted. The frustrated writer in me is, well, frustrated I guess.
Maybe it's hormonal, maybe I am just a craggy wench right now. But I don't think that's it either. Part of me wishes Brad was still my training buddy, but he is so far out of my league. He's in with the big boys, the Ironman club. A club I cannot even try to get in until my kids are grown and not needing me so much. Do I still resent the fact that he did one without me, I don't think that's it...
Summer is coming and I definitely need a break from the hectic life I put myself in this year. I don't regret a minute of it, but my training get the least amount of my attention when I try to be a good mom to my four girls. It will be nice to not have school stuff interfere with training stuff too.
So on this dreary gray day, I wonder in my dreary way, what will happen tomorrow, dunno, but I guess I will find out won't I?
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