Today is my 27th wedding anniversary. I got thinking about the whole institution of marriage. What it entails to make a marriage work. Here are the musings of this mad woman, or a woman who is madly in love :)
I texted a friend this morning who texted me and wished us happy anniversary and said that if her marriage is even half of what ours is, she considers herself lucky. I texted back thank you of course, that is a truly beautiful thing to hear from someone, but I also wanted to remind my pretty newly married friend that marriage won't always be perfect, it isn't always easy, but it is sooooo worth the effort and commitment.
I think that is a pretty true statement. I thought of my brother's ex-wife strangely enough after I sent that text. She was a nice enough person, but I always said while she was planning their wedding, that it appeared to me she was more worried about the fairy tale day and not so much about the "happily ever after" part. I still believe that to be true. I wonder sometimes if she had thought about what her golden years with my brother would have been like if she would have married him in the first place. Seeing the "ex" in front of the "wife" tells you the answer was a definite no.
I also wonder about people who make a big fuss about the ring. I can tell you unequivocally I would have married Brad if he just said to me, let's go to a justice of the peace and get married. I didn't need a ring to promise my heart to him. I just wanted to be with him. It made me think of my mom and dad. No engagement ring, no big fancy wedding, just them getting married. They didn't celebrate their anniversary that I could remember, I think it was some time in October, but they were together for 43 years before Pop died. The last 16 of them spent with my mother being a care giver to a man who went through some pretty horrific times.
Marriage vows bounce around inside my head when I think of them-"for richer or poorer"-they had absolutely nothing when they were first married, yet mom didn't leave dad. They were a team and made the best with what they had. "in sickness and in health"-Pop was sick for so long, and mom cared for him. There was never a question in my mind if she would leave like I think would happen in so many marriages today if the going got that rough. There was probably a good deal of "for better or for worse" that I was unaware of because that's how easy they made it look.
I can remember asking my mom after my dad died if she would ever consider dating again, and she answered me with something I will never forget. "No" when I asked why, she told me she had already had the best. No one else would ever match up. You know what? I get that. I feel that way about Brad. No one could fill the space in my heart. I wouldn't even want to bother. Any man that thinks I am beautiful before I brush my teeth is a keeper in my book hahahaha!
Anyway, I digress. Today is nothing but happy thoughts. Of how lucky we are to have each other. How happy I am you love me no matter how ugly I cry or how bad my morning breath is. How you are my biggest cheerleader and I am yours. How blessed we are with our girls, their health. How amazing it is to be Nee and Op. The list of how lucky we are is truly endless.
I cannot wait to see what the next 27 years hold. I am putting my tray table in it's upright and locked position and fastening my seat belt. Our Golden years are coming for us and this is going to be an even more thrilling part of our ride.
I love you to the moon and back!
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year~Paul Sweeney
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