Read that statement again.
Now again.
Really consider it. Are you happy?
I mulled that around in my brain as I was smiling at this nice morning I have planned. I am going to make cookies and clean the house with my soon to be 21 year old daughter, getting ready for her birthday, Christmas and her boyfriend's visit. I laughed at the thought. So simple, yet it made for such a perfect foundation for my day yesterday I was eager to repeat it today.
Such an epiphany I had....This morning sounds too simple to make someone happy in today's day and age. I am buying nothing fancy. Not doing anything over the top spectacular by anyone else's standards besides, well, my own. This day went as well if not better than yesterday.
I had a terrible dream the other night. I dreamt that we were homeless. That we lost this house I have complained about for the last 12 years. Yes, all 4000 or there abouts feet of it, including our third floor. Yes, I complained about a house that has a third floor. We had so many problems moving in here, both with construction and neighbors. Things that I stubbornly and steadfastly have held on to. So much so it got to the point that I hated it here. All it took was one simple dream, and a couple of fun mornings with one of my girls, and that smacked my spoiled ass back to reality. How insanely fortunate am I?? Why have I missed this point for so freaking long??? No, it's not the fanciest house, in the fanciest neighborhood, but it is the home where I raise my family. The home I saved how many homeless animals in? The home where so many life altering events have occurred. Some good, some bad, all survived with our family still intact and stronger for them. The home that keeps us safe and warm, or cool, and protected. How could I have been so foolish?
The morning after I had that dream, a very dear friend posted a video on his Facebook about the "Disease of More" Talk about serendipity. Talk about a video that hit me like a freight train...https://www.facebook.com/thehypenews/?pnref=story
It spoke to me, to my heart, to my brain still struggling with the awful dream I had. I have been feeling like I am spinning on this giant hamster wheel of I need this!! Or I need that!! I am here in my home, surrounded by things that many would just dream about, and still I wanted more. I wasn't enjoying all that I had. That needed to stop and stop now.
I was becoming one of those people who try to buy happiness. Whether it's through fancy cars, jewelry, pools, vacation homes, boats, whatever the possession might be, those people are running on my hamster wheel of I HAVE TO HAVE IT OR I WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. Look at me! Look at my fancy clothes, my fancy car, my fancy watch. I must be doing well for myself, I must be happy right? You mad bro? You jealous bro?? But it begs the question are they happy? My guess would be no. I know I wasn't. When I googled the question, "will being rich make me happy", I was surprised with the all of the articles stating that the answer is pretty much not necessarily. That it is not material possessions that make us happy but experiences.
This blurb from an article from the Motley Fool was very telling and made such sense to me:
Our appetite for self-destruction
What's so wrong with relishing and embellishing the good? It's costly. Faulty emotional recall makes us do dumb things with our money, like buying cool new stuff that never quite satisfies.
In so many areas, we know when enough is enough. When we're healthy, we don't strive for extreme health. After a good meal, we're sated -- we don't order another filet mignon to augment our satisfaction.
Yet our "pause" button shorts out when it comes to money. The brief pick-me-up that accompanies a raise or windfall (think of it like a caffeine buzz) drives us to want more. We get a raise, spend it, adapt to our improved circumstances, and seek more money, working up a sweat on what University of Southern California economist Richard Easterlin calls the hedonic treadmill.
But somehow the happy-o-meter stays in the same place, or even slows down. Consider that the average American is less satisfied with life today than we were in the 1950s -- yet we earn twice as much (and, yes, that's adjusted for inflation). No wonder they never crown a winner of the rat race.
It would appear the answer is a resounding NO!
All of the sudden I am getting it.
I sat yesterday in our hot tub (yes we have a hot tub and I still was thinking of what next believe it or not) it was freezing outside. One of those cold days where this sky is an unbelievable shade of blue, looking up at the sky that was a blue that reminds me of one of my daughter's eyes. I looked over at my husband who sat across from me and I felt so sincerely blessed at that moment. I have my sight, which with MS is never something I should take for granted. I was able to appreciate the blue of the sky, appreciate how they remind me of the beautiful blue of my daughter's eyes. I was able to see this gorgeous guy that has been my husband for almost 27 years. I could see the crinkles by his eyes because he was smiling too. Those crinkles that I have loved, because there is this genuine smile of happiness that goes with them. I got it. I felt like this moment from the Grinch....
My heart was swelling and I got it. How could I have not seen this all before? Why did I miss out on enjoying this so much? When we finally got out and came inside, I looked around my house and saw how beautifully it was decorated by my girls. The scene brought me to tears as I truly appreciated all of the care and consideration that went into the decorating. That I understood I was blessed to have the hot tub, Christmas decorations, a home that was warm after being jolted by the cold. I had a place to go to get warm, that was a safe haven that so many do not have any time of year.
How could I be so stupid?
I couldn't wait to get back to making cookies with my girl, which we did later in the day. Knotting those Italian Christmas cookies made me smile as I chattered away with her.
This is good, this is all good.
I am done with the Disease of More. I am replacing it with the Disease of I am so lucky. Or the Disease of being thankful for all I have.
I explained this all to my girls last night. How lucky I have been feeling about everything. How truly grateful I am. I could see the truth in these statements making sense to them. I could see it in their eyes. I want them to celebrate all that they have instead of needing and wanting more thinking it will make them happy.
I suddenly felt like that moment when the Grinch understands Christmas, He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. Maybe Christmas, he thought... doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps... means a little bit more!
This is true of life too isn't it? Happiness doesn't come from a store, it comes from within, it comes from sharing and loving and doing for others. It comes during moments of grace when the sky is so blue it's almost blinding. It comes when a little voice says, 'Mon Nee, 'mon, and his little hand grabs you to see what is so important in his world at that moment... It comes when you are greeted with a bunch of wagging tails too excited to see you after being gone five minutes. It comes when the man you love looks over at you and smiles his genuine smile and crinkles his eyes up.
I never want to forget this lesson I've been lucky enough to finally learn.
The Disease of More? Nope, for me it's now the Disease of No More.
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